Bird Jokes

Q: When should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody the Wood Pickle.

Q: There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!

Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!

Q: What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?
A: A funky chicken.

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame bird?
A: The tame way, unique up on it!

Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With its sparrowchute.

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment.

Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Q: How did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: On the bottom of the chicken’s foot!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
A: To get to the other size!

Q: Why do ducks fly south?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

There was a duck who walked into a store and said, “got any candy?” The storekeeper said, “no, we don’t.” The next day, the duck went into the same store and asked the same thing and got the same anwer. The duck kept going back every day for a week and asked the same thing and kept getting the same answer until the store keeper got so angry he said, “if you come in here and ask that again, I will hit you on the head with a hammer!” The next day, the duck walks into the store and asks, “got a hammer?” The store keeper says, “no.” Then the duck asks, “got any candy?”

Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.

Q: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
A: He was catching all the chickens!

Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.

Q: How do crows stick together in a flock?
A: Velcrow.

Q: What did one egg say to the other egg?
A: Let’s get crackin’!

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers.

Q: Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?
A: Because it was chicken.

Q: What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?
A: A robber ducky.

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: Because they kept saying “bach bach”!

Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!

Q: What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon

Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!

Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs.

Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra